[Good] Karma

Over the past four and a half years at UWEC, my life has been full of moments that seem to only happen to me. Moments that would discourage anyone: losing a student i.d. six times in a summer, losing a credit card on campus, getting a phone stolen, damaging a car, near death experiences, wiping out on rollerblades in front of a large portion of the student body, someone getting stuck to my backpack, singing off key in front of the entire RA group, burning too much popcorn, peeing on stage, almost dumping hot chocolate on her head trying to take a selfie, getting shit on by a horse, getting lost on the way to class, slipping down the hill, forgetting to put a coffee cup under the Keurig, getting electrocuted trying to pet a goat, burning their hand on the curling iron, waving to someone who wasn't waving to me, getting lost in the Badlands, and so much more. Maybe some day I'll write an autobiography. I soon learned that these small moments have contributed a lot to my character. They are key components of my quirky disposition that have built good karma. How do I know that?

(drumroll...)

I have accepted a job back in Juneau at the University where I'll be working as an Admissions Representative in their office. Things could not be more perfect. A dream come true! I mean, rent will be well over a grand and then I'll have student loans, but YOLO. Adulthood is near. Some how the girl who trips every time she takes a step is about to enter the professional world...yikes. In August when I decided to drop education, I didn't know what I would do. I knew that ultimately, in the long run, I would love to be back in Juneau working in their Admissions Office. Keep in mind, though, that this is where 30 year-old Allie saw herself. Not 22 year-old Allie. I've been praying about what my life after college would be like, where I wanted to be, etc. God has clearly answered my prayers and for that, I am #blessed. It's been yet another thing to affirm my faith and relationship with the Lord. He truly is wonderful. So, shout out the big man in the sky!

The timeline for all of this is absolutely crazy. One of my friends had something to me about graduating, going to Nicaragua, and moving to Alaska all in one month. The veracity of that statement is crazy to think about. So much change will be happening in a short amount of time. Graduation is this weekend. I leave for Nicaragua January 1 and get back January 21. I will then probably make my way out Juneau January 25. My car and I will go on an adventure out to Bellingham where we will then catch the ferry to the soggy city that fills my heart with joy! EEEEE. Essentially, it be me, my car, and music on the open road making a few stops here and there. Now that I have a job locked in place, my mentality towards finals is worse than it has ever been. Prior to this, I procrastinated a lot, and as you can imagine, it has only gotten worse. I know that I would still pass all of my classes if I just didn't finish up final papers, presentations, or even the final itself. Then I give myself a reality check. Those grades will matter when I am applying to graduate and P.hD programs in the future.

There's also been this sense of nostalgia that I seem to be facing each and every day. I feel as if I haven't had enough time to process the fact that I'm leaving the city that has given me nothing but opportunity for the past 4.5 years and the city which has been my home away from home. And knowing that I may very well never see 90% of the people I have encountered on this journey ever again.

While I'm definitely stressed about my impending debt of life after college, I'm glad I won't ever have to worry about taking 18 credit semesters (at least not for a while). Of that 18, I won't have to worry about having 12 of them be Spanish classes and of that 12, 9 of them being Spanish-literature. Yikes. What a nightmare. But you know, I read some really interesting things over the semester: Don Quixote, La casa de Bernarda Alba, works by Pablo Neruda (my favorite poet by the way), Waslala, La Carta de Cristóbal Colón a Luis de Santangel (I hate Christopher Columbus), La Muñeca Menor, and so much more. I have just been on autopilot with all of this. My favorite, though, has been my ability to explore the space and place of Latin America and how that is reflected in literature (I even did a research project on it...willingly!).

My other Spanish class, we are required to film an episode of a telenovela. So, that has also been consuming a large chunk of my time. I play Juan, an aspiring politician, who is caught cheating on his wife with his lover. It's pretty dramatic. Meanwhile, my other two classes are pretty much just presentations and papers in addition to the papers I have for my literature classes. IT'S HORRIBLE. But almost over.

Amidst all of this academic chaos, I have had time to spend with friends exploring christmas lights, eating Chipotle, bell ringing, and so much more. To me, right now, the last few days I have with my friends before starting this next chapter carries more importance in my heart because they have taught me so much, have been there for me when I needed them most, and have encouraged me to follow my dreams! Homework has never done that.

I am quite certain that all of my good karma I had waiting for me has been cashed in and I'm at ground zero again. My license plates were recently suspended making it illegal for me to drive my car for a few days because I forgot to pay a University parking ticket. I overslept and missed half of my final today. So I imagine that things will only get worse.

Here's to hoping that the rest of the week is smooth sailing. I'll be sure to keep you, mysterious reader, updated on my life post-graduation. I'm sure it will be a cheesy and sentimental post. Until then, stay warm!

-A

  

 

Dark Humor

Imagine the following four scenarios:

• Your in your home and to add to the ambience, you decide that you want to light your pumpkin candle. Though the wick is near the bottom of the candle jar, you go for it anyways as you have done it before. Well, turns out, you get burned from the fire leaving the lighter.

• At about 7:00 AM, your morning routine begins: shower, blow-dry hair, paint your face, drink some coffee, walk around naked (because why not?), get dressed, and do last minute homework. Well, this day in particular, you change your routine. Everything is essentially the same, except you decide to curl your hair just for the heck of it. You know--feel good, perform well! The hot iron has done a terrific job already, and you are finishing up the last curl. All of a sudden, you feel the curling iron slip from your hand. Instinctively, you reach for it before it shatters to the ground. News flash: it's fucking hot. 

• It's cold and soggy outside. And just cold inside. It's nearing 10:00 PM and you help close down the office. You go to unplug the only source of warmth in the room: the space-heater. Instantly, you feel a current begin to run from your finger to your head. After realizing that you just electrocuted yourself, you just shriek and everything in you feels tingly.

• The sun has finally come out amongst the rain. Dew is covering the grass and water stains the pavement. The water sticks to the bottom of your shoes, much like gum would. Music is playing through your headphones on the way to class but you are still able to hear the slosh slosh slosh of your shoes through puddles. You leave the outside world and enter an academic building. A crowd of individuals is behind you as you listen to Blank Space in Spanish. Then, one leg goes out from underneath you and undoubtedly, shear panic covers your face. Arms flail through the air. You are now on the ground. You go to recover from this mortifying fall. One leg at a time. First leg is up, you are crouched and begin to lift the other leg. Then all of a sudden, you are back on the floor. You look behind you, and people are trying so hard not to laugh. An individual, whom you thankfully know, comes to your rescue and walks it off with you, while you both laugh at the images running through your minds from the past five minutes.

All of these scenarios are based off of my own real life experiences from the past five days. Nothing has been exaggerated. It's pretty truthful and factual. Would my life be the way it is without these moments? I've determined that God has a dark sense of humor. With that dark sense of humor, I am reminded of the importance of being humble. I don't have control over anything in my life, not even my own body. Ultimately, God has the control of all aspects of my life.

I'd like to think that I have freewill, but nope. I don't even have that. I mean, yes, in the sense of being able to have choices and make decisions. Plot twist: Because He knows my heart and mind and life better than I even do, He knows the decisions I'll make! So, am I really making those decisions? Just some food for thought.

ANYWAYS, things overall are going well. I'm in a good place. I'm definitely checked out of school. Graduation is just a few short weeks away. I don't care about homework at all. C'S GET DEGREES. But why sacrifice everything I've worked so hard for over the years? Then come graduation, Christmas will be here and then I'll leave for Nicaragua! So many things to look forward to in addition to Adele's new album on Friday and it being acceptable for me to listen to Christmas music net week. But also, so many things to be financially stressed about. Okay. Mostly just the idea of having to pay back student loans pretty immediately. We'll see what happens.

Much love.
-A

Whirlwind

Yo dawgz. Well, another hell-like week has gone by. A week filled with staying up too late working or doing homework. The staying up late, though, is totally my fault. I am a creature of procrastination. Sure, I had an entire semester to write my five page Spanish paper last week, but instead, I wrote it at 9:00 PM the night before it was due. Get this: I have another one due tomorrow, as well as a presentation. But you know, I'll conquer it. It was also a week filled with the feeling of letting individuals down. I've become so consumed with the whirlwind events in my life that I haven't taken the time to be there for those whom I really value. I've taken a step back and have reflected on the things I value most. Is it my grades or my relationships? Maybe it's just the senioritis I've caught but I know that my relationships mean so much more to me than my grades. Yeah, I'll get a $33,000+ piece of paper come December, but the relationships I have and am a part of are priceless #cliché I don't want to risk losing them if I can help it.

I could have easily stayed in my apartment all weekend just wasting away on my couch: eyes burning from the constant glare at my computer screen, little fingers barely hinged onto my hand from furiously typing, and a butt that is not attached to the upper half of my body from falling into my couch. Essentially, I would have become a corpse by the end of this weekend with flies buzzing around my decayed body. Rather than risk the decay, I once again put off the school work.

The weekend was filled with work, driving, designing, photographing, and hiking. My favorite part, naturally, was the work. PSYCH. It was the hiking. And the absurd amount of candy corn I ate. My friend John and I went out to Hoffman Hills to explore the rolling mountains hills of Eau Claire, WI. The foliage of the trees was breathtaking: auburn, burgundy, orange, yellow, red, etc. Fall is a pretty basic thing, I guess. After climbing a tower equivalent to Rapunzel's, we casually snapped some photos--with and without a selfie stick--and spit over the ledge. After sunset, we descended from the hills. However, the sun set much more quickly than we anticipated. Before we knew it, we were meandering through the moonlight. We also got lost in the woods for about an hour and conveniently didn't have headlamps. Thank goodness for flashlights on our phones. Well, John's phone because mine still has water damage from my last adventure to the Last Frontier.

I also was able to meet mom in the Dells for about an hour to get some grub. By which I mean, soup. The four hour car ride (round trip) was worth because I got to see her and well, drive. My favorite thing to do. Clearing your mind, thinking things through, and just contemplating life. Which for me, can often turn into something dangerous because I get in deep in my head and just overthink everything.

Yesterday's topic of thought: my future (once again). The thought of my life post graduation, is growing. Metaphorically, I would compare it to a benign tumor. Just in the sense that it's constantly there occupying space in my mind, annoying (but harmless), a conversation piece, and it has the potential to become malignant. Okay, that was maybe weird. But this is just how my Allie mind works, yo. I also thought about this upcoming Friday and how stoked I am for it. In case you are unaware, this Friday, October 30th, is NATIONAL CANDY CORN DAY. A day better than national waffle day, national ice-cream day, and national-donut day. I'm stoked. Then it's Halloween. You guys, I have no free weekend until December. WHAT THE HECK? That thought absolutely terrifies me. I am looking forward to having exciting events on the weekends to use as checkpoints for my long weeks of (cl)asses, but then that means my time as an undergraduate is coming to an end. YIKES.

OK. I want to keep talking, but I need to do homework and my bladder is about to explode (TMI? Eh, whatever).

Drink a pumpkin spice latte with an extra espresso shot.

-A

   

Time

The past days have been filled with adventure. Adventure in which I overcommit and then feel overwhelmed. Yes, I thrive off of the chaos that comes with business, but also, it's not healthy at all. My days usually start at 7:00 AM and then go until about 10:00 PM -- class, work, and student organizations. 10:00 PM - 7:00 AM is filled with social commitments, sleep, eating, and homework. I should not have to physically write in my planner when I am going to eat or when I am going to run to the store. At the beginning of the week, my weekends seem to be open for sleep and working ahead. But they're not. They're just as busy as my weekdays. Friday night I went on a hike to Big Falls, got coffee, went to a concert, and hung out with more friends. Saturday morning I worked for two hours, then had study abroad orientation, then helped a friend move, then got coffee with another friend, then had to run errands, and then crashed. Today, I went to the apple orchard with a group of friends and got lunch. Now that my day has died down, I just want to sleep and relax. But I can't because of the homework I have #midtermsweek. It's all great, and I enjoy it, but where does time for myself and God come into play? 

Time seems to be limited, which results in (strawberry) jam packed days. The fact that it's mid-October proves that our days are ticking by. We often say time's speed, is scary. But the reason it seems to go at the pace of a velociraptor is because we fill our days rather than live in the spontaneity of the moment. Think of being on vacation. A moment in which there are no commitments. A three day trip can often feel like a week or more. So, why can't we live each day in a way where we don't overcommit? As a college student, I think that it's because of competition induced by our society. The reason to be so involved with student organizations, research, to work, and to be taking a rigorous course load is to stand out amongst our peers for graduate programs as well as prospective employers. I'm guilty of it which then leads me to feel mega stressed. I'm trying to plan out my life for next year: work, school, adventure, or none? But even worse, I'm trying to plan out the year after: grad school or peace corps? THAT'S CRAZY. I should not be planning two years in advance. Things aren't going to go how I plan for them to (God's plan for me is bigger than the plan for myself). 

I need to live in the moment. I need to do things and not think about how it will affect me tomorrow, next week, next month, or five years down the road. I can't plan out my life as much as I want to. I want to go to grad school for a masters and doctorate (at some point). I want to join the Peace Corps. I want to work in higher education. I want to have a family. I want to travel. It's unhealthy to think about the "I want's" so frequently. I need to focus on the present "I am's" : I am going to Nicaragua, I am an undergraduate student, I am working with students, I am part of an incredible family. Most importantly, I am me. A loved daughter of God.

What is time? Inception definitely makes it confusing but also makes it clear. We'll miss out on more if we try to live in a moment that we're not. We'll miss out if we continue to take our time for granted. Things and people won't always be here. Cherish your moments without associating them with stress. Allot time to yourself and other things that are important to you. It's healthy. 

So anyways, I envisioned this post going in a different direction than what it did, but I just committed to this once it started. I am doing well, though. I'm trying to take life one day at a time. 

Happy Sunday. GO PACKERS.

- A

 

 

Nicaragua

So...

...

Iré a Nicaragua por tres semanas en enero.

(I'm going to Nicaragua for three weeks in January)

...

...

...

Before the judgement giraffes come out, let me give y'all a run down as to what I'll exactly be doing and how this decision was made.

HOW
Last week I was working the study abroad fair to help promote the National Student Exchange, the program which took me to Alaska. One of my (many) Spanish professors came up to me to ask if I was going to sign up to go to Nicaragua. I blinked a few times and awkwardly laughed (the idea was absurd -- I just got back!). I then proceeded to tell her that though I considered it countless times, it just didn't make sense: I'm not in a financially stable place in life to just continue adventuring, I don't need the class, I graduate, and well, the application had closed. She in turn gave me the stare that seemed to never end. You know, the one your parents would give you when they would want you to leak explicit information about something. Yeah. I hated it. I let her continue encouraging me. Before I knew it, I was sending one email after the next. They extended the application for me, I can still graduate in December, and blah blah blah.

The result: This girl is going to Nicaragua January 2 - January 22 2K16.

WHY
Two of UWEC's professors will be leading the trip as it is a faculty-led immersion program. We'll spend the majority of our time in Matagalpa working with the women within the community. I'll also be living with a host-family during that three weeks. The course component of this trip will focus on the feminist movement (primarily in Nicaragua) and the role the Nicaraguan women play in its society.

El Chile, an indigenous weaving community, will be visited as will Mulukuku, a refugee community during the early years of war with the contra. We will also be going to El Porvenir, a community near Matagalpa, to visit a women's cooperative that receives micro-loans to grow flowers. In addition to hearing the stories of these incredible women, time will be spent visiting the public school, the public health center, and various panels regarding women who participated in the revolutionary struggle in the 1980's.

The thing that breaks my heart, though, is the fact that we will be visiting La Chureca Project in Managua (Nicaragua's capital). This a location in which families reside at Managua's garbage dump. A GARBAGE DUMP. Approximately 1,000 individuals can be found living here. 50% of those individuals are children under the age of 18.

There will also be time available to explore other aspects of Nicaragua's geography. Such as the Masaya Volcano and the Malecon (one of the most polluted bodies of water in Central America).

MY THOUGHTS
To say that I'm looking forward to this trip, to some extent, feels wrong. I have no doubt that I will be faced with brokenness that will shatter my heart. My professor asked me to reflect on how I may handle the poverty (and mosquitoes). I then began to reflect on my time in Bolivia way back when. Yes, there was so much brokenness, but the Bolivians were still able to find much joy in their lives and something worth living for. With that said, I think that I will find the Nicaraguan culture to be similar in that sense.

For me personally, I am eager to expand my knowledge of the Latin American culture. The thought of having the opportunity to continue my growth in the Spanish language gives me butterflies. I also know that new relationships will be developed with my cohort, host family, and the various communities we will be working with throughout the three weeks.

During these months of prep and planning, I ask for your prayers in that things will work out smoothly in regards to finances, transportation, etc. I know that this is incredibly spontaneous but it feels right. Oddly enough, things have been working out. My heart is being called to this incredible place. I'll keep everyone updated with things and you can of course expect various blog posts about the trip once the date actually arrives.

If anyone has questions about this crazy adventure, just let me know and I'll gladly answer them!

- A

Llamas, Oversized Pumpkins, and Honeycrisp Apples

Lil' Jon's "Get Outta Your Mind" interrupted my peaceful sleep. After hitting snooze a few times, I slowly untangled myself from my blanket pile. I gave myself my usual morning pep talk before actually getting out of bed, and got out of bed matrix style. 10:30 came around and it was time to roll. After church, I went out to Ferguson's Apple Orchard/Pumpkin Farm with quite a large group of people -- there were maybe thirty of us. But once we got there and dispersed, I stuck around a smaller close group of friends. It's been so long since I've actually been out to an orchard. I forgot how much I loved them. They are like, the epitome of fall -- $.50 apple cider, caramel apples (WITH CANDY CORN), apple strudel, and apple tasting. I'm all about the honey crisp apple. After all of the sweet sugary apple things, I essentially just wanted to brush my teeth the entire time. There was also a giant pumpkin that I tried lifting and maybe injured myself in the process. It was worth it, though. 

To make things better, there was a freaking LLAMA (also known as my spirit animal). Yeah, A LLAMA. My face lit up. You bet I took a selfie with it. I probably looked like a fool; imagine me amongst a group of small humanas trying to take a photo. Yeah... it was awkward. But a day like today, how could you not document every moment of it? Especially the llama. We also went through the Slightly Scary Haunted House. Ran through the corn maze. Took a lot of photos. And of course, lots of smiles and laughs were had throughout. 

All in all, it was a pretty good day. I have a ton of homework to do, though and am still in the midst of trying to figure out my life post-graduation. 

Happy Sunday! Much love.

-A

                            

Chunky Sweaters

WOAH. IT'S OCTOBER 1. To celebrate the start of this month, I wore my skeleton earrings. I have no shame whatsoever. I'm just a 22 year-old trying to live a normal life with her glow-in-the-dark earrings.

Thus far, this week has been... (Rocky Mountain) rocky. Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I had this killer cold and sore throat. I'm surprised I still have a voice after all the coughing I've been doing. I was so congested to the point where I couldn't swallow anything -- at least not comfortably. Breathing was nearly impossible. Oh my gosh. To make things worse, I had to sit through two days of class with my nose just dripping and dripping and dripping. I thought I was born with a nose and not a leaky faucet. Ugh. Terrible. And you know when your congestion makes you sound funny and you don't want to talk? Well, I had to record a three minute speech for Spanish and create a transcription for it. I'm sure I'll incorporate sniffle and cough into it somewhere because it's essentially all you can hear. It sounds disgusting. To help fight off this nasty lil' booger of a bug, I have been curling up in a little burrito blanket with hot tea all while watching the Prince of Egypt. SO GOOD. I love the opening song... "Deliver us..." SO POWERFUL. Today has been a little better in regards to my physical well-being. I am still freezing like all the time. And I'm still congested. But the dripping has stopped and the coughing has decreased a little bit. I feel like less of a chump when I speak.


Tuesday was National Coffee day! I went to The Goat to work on homework in order to celebrate. Ok. I do it every Tuesday and Thursday. It was pure coincidence that National Coffee Day fell on a Tuesday. I guess I lucked out. For $2.46, I am able to get two 20 ounce cups of coffee. My favorite is chocolate almond. Just black. No cream. That's for the weak. TASTY. The first I drink usually right at 8:30 AM and the second I bring with me for my 11:00 AM class. SO WONDERFUL. Throughout the day I end up making a third cup... YIKES. OH, and this is my haiku I wrote about the glorious day: Coffee I love you.You taste of all things happy. Caffeine through my veins.

[THEN I translated it to Spanish: Café, te amo.
Sabor de felicidad. Llenar mis venas]

I had a test today in my history class which I studied for two hours before actually taking it. I feel good about it. One can only have so much motivation to study when a professor tells you right away that he will curve the exam. My three Spanish lit classes are going well. In one of them we're reading the infamous Don Quitjote de la Mancha por Miguel de Cervantes and the other we're reading El Señor Presidente por Miguel Ángel Asturias. Don Quijote is much easier to follow while El Señor Presidente is filled with pages and pages of confusion due to the variety of rhetoric. However, once you understand it, I think it's the better book of the two.

I rollerbladed down to campus today for a meeting and boy, it was like, mega windy. My hair and skeleton earrings were furiously blowing in the wind. At one point, I thought that my ears were going to be ripped off. YIKES. To make it worse, I rolled into the meeting in my orange crocs, a huge sweatshirt, and crazy earrings. I ended up getting "shines" (encouragement letters from my peers) regarding my outfit. I rock the awkward.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday. I just want to catch up on sleep and drink wine. Saturday I have to give a campus tour then my friend Elly is taking my senior photos (which I don't think seniors in college usually do so it's kind of a joke). Then Sunday I'm going to the Apple Orchard. In between all of that I need to do homework and real work. But, I have no doubt that it will get done... Sunday night.

So yeah. The low is that I've been super sick. Oh. I also have fruit flies. Damn strawberries. The high is that it's finally Fall: CHUNKY SWEATERS, boots, my Fall music, pumpkin spice everything, apple everything, Halloween movies, cuddling, and no more 80+ degree weather. I LOVE IT.

XOXO.
-A

Driving with J$

**Upon reading this post, you'll be exposed to the inner-workings of my true thoughts with no filter. Oh gahsh. I feel too vulnerable already. Just don't talk to me about it in person. Pretend a robot wrote this**

On my drive home this weekend and back to Eau Claire, I put myself in this seemingly strange hypothetical situation. Here's the scene of my situation: I'm driving on I-94, listening to my TechYES playlist when I look over, and Jesus is in my passenger seat. Now, if that really were to happen, what the moment look like?

I have no doubt that I would be awkward. I'm sure I would kick things off with a joke or some bad pun. Maybe offer the dude a handful of candy corn--assuming He would like it. Would I dare talk about the upcoming election? Probably not. I'd probably also offer to turn off my music. Unless He enjoys jamming to the sweet bass of techno. I'd want to talk about a lot of things regarding Him and Christianity (especially the Spanish conquistadores of South America). Also the big life questions.

But let's rewind to the creation of this thought process. It came to be as a result of my internal panic regarding graduation this December. What is a 22 year old drowning in debt going to do with a Liberal Arts degree in Spanish and a made up minor? I know I must have complete faith in the Lord's plan for me. I know I want to get my masters in Student Affairs, one day join the Peace Corps, get my PhD in Spanish, teach English abroad, and have a family. I also am very aware that there is a high chance none of these things may happen.

With this flurry of thoughts, I naturally began to panic. What am I actually going to do in the Fall of 2016? I am just now accepting the fact that I do not run on my time, but rather the Lord's. He has numbered my days and only He knows my calendar. So much for Outlook. For a free spirit and lost soul, such as myself, this is fairly comforting because I'm hopeful that things will fall in place with time. But also, I want to know where I'll be and where I'm supposed to be. I guess time is a gift that is used for more than our own purpose.

Amidst this chaos, there has been judgement placed upon me in regards to what I'm doing, what I have done, and who I am. People. I'm just going to do my thing. You'll either love the Allie or disapprove of the Allie. I'm fine with either, though I'd prefer to receive your love. I can't change my character because individuals disapprove. I'm a proponent for being yourself, because that's the best version of you (some famous person probably said that). We all have our masks that we put on. For me, it's way too easy to let the imposter version of myself come out. She knows how to act around a specific group of people to avoid judgement and gain approval. What can I say, I'm lovable? That's also like, really dumb because I'm lying to everyone. Also, people don't have the right to cast out judgment, so it shouldn't matter how others perceive me. Yet for some reason, it does. Judgment is then followed by a questioning of my character and value.

As a result of this twisted mentality, when riding with passenger Jesus in my car, the biggest question I would want answered is why do we so often forget how valuable we actually are? Why do we let society determine our worth? I say "we" because I know I'm not the only person guilty of this. Fun fact: I did have this conversation with J$ and this is what my 22.5 year-old self gained from it:
Our actions do not define our permanent being. They are learning tools that help foster our growth in a positive way. That can easily happen if we surround ourselves with people who encourage us during the highs and lows in life. We also all fuck up and make mistakes. Own up to your shit and admit your faults. Wait. If you are immersed in people who will judge, how can you? That's when the imposter self comes out and covers everything up. Trust me. I've been there. But I know I wouldn't be who I am if I didn't own up to my faults. I've only grown from them in a positive way, even if it may have hurt in the moment. I've learned to humble myself, even if I lose friendships along the way. It's a hard concept for me to fully fathom because I care so much about the relationships I create, but people come and go in our lives. When friendships end, I question what I did wrong. Like, what the heck. But then I reflect and realize that I actually probably did everything right in my role as a friend. It just ran its course. That doesn't change my worth at all. I'm still important, yo, even if I only have nine toenails. It's important to surround oneself with people who show love in the dark destructive moments but also the triumphant ones. Like, people who accept you for you without trying to change who you are. I want to have the courage to live a life true to myself and not the life that others expect of me.

Future me will hopefully be a much cooler version of the present with much more insight on life. I also hope to have more revelations that allow my head and heart to work together rather than against one another. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next decade, etc. but I do know that I will continue to receive unconditional love from the only one who matters. It's what will continue to shape my being. I am absolutely worthy of love.

Regardless of who you are, what your spiritual beliefs are, and the challenges you've had to overcome or are still trying to overcome, you too are worthy of love. So like, just don't forget that. Stay true to yourselves (despite your age) and I truly believe that then your lives will become much more joyful.
Keep your hearts happy, friends. Sending sniffles and hugs your way!

-A

In other news. Here's a gross picture of me. I have this tissue sticking out of my nose because it won't stop running. I'm also surprised I have not yet coughed up a lung or lost my voice. The cute lil' guy in my tea is giving me hope <3 

26.2 Miles...ON WHEELS

 HELLO.

So, this last weekend, a few friends and I made the trip from Eau Claire, WI to Duluth, MN. The reasoning behind was to participate in the 2015 North Shore Inline Skate Marathon. What does that mean? 26.2 miles on rollerblades. PEOPLE We skated from Two Harbors back to Duluth. Part of the route was on the freeway. I couldn't feel my feet for 20 miles and had a three inch blister due to the fact that I wore my new rollerblades that weren't broken in all the way... My face also got sunburned. I HAVE NO REGRETS. I'll post a longer post regarding what's been happening in my life some point this weekend. But for now, enjoy this video! (The color and pixelation is kind of weird on some of it. So I apologize!) 

https://vimeo.com/140416936

NEW Adventure

It's 10:00 AM on Thursday morning and I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop off campus--The Goat. Gregory Alan Isakov's sweet voice is flowing through my little ear drums and my hands are hugging my cup of coffee. I've yawned at least twenty times in the past hour and a half. The sun is shining and I feel like Fall is on its way. My class this morning got cancelled, so I don't have class until 1:00 PM. We're in our second week of classes and next week will be our first FULL week. I'm mentally exhausted. My brain has just been chugging along nonstop.

This semester my course load is absolutely insane and my Spanish advisor/professors have all told me that I should change it. I have four Spanish classes (three of which are literature), a Spanish history class (but in English), and then a methods course. This schedule needs to remain because I am finally going to graduate...THIS DECEMBER (as opposed to next December). In order to do so, though, I once again changed my major...in my fifth year of school. Like, who does that? I dropped Elementary Education and Spanish Education for a Liberal Arts degree in Spanish with a topical minor in Intercultural Communications. Some of you may be gasping or pissed at me for not teaching. I don't want to continue convincing myself that my heart is in teaching when I know that it isn't. I was in a high-school the other day for my methods course and I just felt so claustrophobic and trapped. That feeling shouldn't exist.

"So, Allie. What the f*** are you doing? What can you even do with your new degree program?" Well, everyone. That's a great question. UW-Eau Claire doesn't actually offer a minor in Intercultural Communications, so I literally created it for myself based on classes I have already taken. I don't know what I'm doing. I never really do. I am okay just going with wherever the wind takes me. I know that God's plan for me is greater than my own. I do know that my heart is in Student Affairs and I will hopefully attend graduate school in the Fall to get my masters. Or maybe even my P.hD in Spanish. I don't know. But I do know that I already have a job lined up for after I graduate. In fact, I start it next week! Which is the next exciting part of my life adventure.

Friends: I will not be continuing as an RA this year. It's bittersweet because I really enjoy my 11 coworkers and the thirty residents I directly work with. Unknowingly, they have helped me with my adjustment back from Juneau. They helped remind me of all the reasons why I do love Eau Claire. The reason I am leaving the RA position is because I was offered a position in the Think Tank, which is one of the offices in housing. Essentially, I will be supervising 10-15 individuals and working with professional staff to ensure that programming can occur efficiently and effectively. Normally, this is a professional position, but with budget cuts in the state and people moving up in the field, it has turned into a graduate student position. However, because of the timing, no graduate student has been found, which leaves me. CRAZY. I am moving out of Oak Ridge, which has been my home since 2011, and into a different residence hall. I'll have my own apartment and several other benefits. This opportunity is incredible and will serve as yet another springboard for my career in higher education. This opportunity presented itself just a few days after I changed my major. I was in a dry season in regards to my relationship with God (which is another story) but the timing of this and the greatness of it is affirming of His existence.

I got a tattoo when I was back in Juneau (which I conveniently forgot to write about in my recent posts). I was also asked to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of my childhood best friend and could not be more exciting or honored. I feel like good things are finally happening to me after all the shit I've gone through over the past year or two. Life is turning around. Yeah, those shitty things are still out there but there is a lot of good happening. So friends, if life is just taking a big dump on you, it will turn around at some point. Try to keep a positive attitude and keep smiling your beautiful smiles, no matter how much you may be hurting on the inside. Karma has a way of coming back around to you.

XOXO
-A

video

Here's the link for my finalized video of my trip to Seattle and Juneau a few weeks ago. Enjoy! 

https://vimeo.com/137710939

Singles Connection

Well, my life somehow manages to get weirder and weirder with each passing day. It astounds me. I have no idea as to how I am still functioning, or even alive. On top of the weird, there is also a lot of bad that happens. There are times when I think that life could not take a bigger shit on me, but then it does. Maybe at the time it's seemingly bad, but in the long run, there's a reason for it. Just look at everything that happened on my last trip to Juneau and everything since: water damaged phone, broken camera, nonfunctional windshield wiper, stolen phone, horrible humans throughout the weeks, etc. But you know, I've just come out of it stronger and there are lessons to be gained from it.

So, in my recent life adventure, a few friends and myself decided to head out to a free barn dance and bonfire in the Eau Claire area. It was also a singles connection dance. We were stoked and were hopeful that we would find our soulmates (or something like that). The drive out to said barn was about 20 minutes in the middle of nowhere Eau Claire. Pitch black creepy highways, cornfields, and lightning. The whole time driving I imagined the music from Psycho's shower scene playing. We get to this barn. I need to pee. So I peed next to the car in the lawn. It was windy. So, just imagine what happened. SICK. Then we walk up to the barn and see that every man has grey hair. Every woman is driving a mom van. No one is under the age of 60. After dipping out, we looked up 'Singles Connection' and this is what we found: http://singlesconnectionec.com/ 

Still ready to rock, we went to the Wigwam, one of the bars downtown. We enter and the crowd was like, mid-late twenties early thirties. We enjoyed the scene. But then things got weird. Our newly found friend, Eric, began talking to me about relationship stuff, saying I should have a boyfriend, etc. Meanwhile, Eric is in a two year relationship with his girlfriend who was also at the bar. We also met a man in a onesie who began saying provocative things to us. There was just a lot happening.

And now here I am working the front desk, drinking coffee, and shivering. It's move-in day for student athletes, marching band members, etc. Thus far I've given out the wrong combination to two individuals meaning that the combination now needs to change for those rooms. I must be having an out of body experience because as a fourth year RA, that has never happened to me. WHAT THE HECK.

Enjoy your Sunday, everyone and catch you on the flipside!

-A

Yo dawgz.

Well, I am no longer living out of my backpack. My two week adventure has come to an end. It wasn't the adventure that I was anticipating but none the less, it was an adventure. Tamara (a.k.a mom) and I left WI two weeks ago to start are journey to Seattle. After driving through the night and sleeping in a creepy parking lot in the car in Montana as tractors were driving by at 4:00 in the morning, we made it to Yellowstone National Park around 11:00 AM. It was so beautiful! After driving through the park with some hiking, we finally set up camp and went to bed. At 5:00 PM. In the pouring rain. However, we woke up early Wednesday morning and did some more exploration which included more hikes, various geysers, and more rain of course! Oh, and a plethora of bison. Initially, they were so cute. But then they caused one too many traffic jams because they would stand in the middle of the freaking road. Camera Tamara couldn't handle the rain anymore so we peaced out of the mountainous Yellowstone and made way for Idaho. We stayed in a sketchy motel 8 in Couer d'alene at 2:00 AM waking up early again Thursday to continue our travels. With our luck, we found a great campground outside of Sandpoint, Idaho. Mom slept in the tent and I spent my nights under the stars in my hammock. A dream come true. Friday night, our waitresses from lunch that day lent us her two kayaks and we spent the afternoon kayaking on the lake. A true dream come true. THEN MOM HAD THE NERVE TO TELL ME SHE WANTED A KAYAK AFTER I'VE BEEN SAYING I'VE WANTED ONE FOR YEARS. Anyways. We then left for Seattle at 3:30 AM Saturday morning and got there by 9:30. Once in Seattle, we met up with some Alaskan peeps and spent time at the Pike's Place Market, on the Harbor Cruise, and at the aquarium. To top of that day, there was a Taylor Swift concert! Holy nuts. It was an incredible performance. Taylor just gets it. What a woman. Then Sunday we went to the zoo, grabbed some lunch, and then I said goodbye to mom to start my week in Juneau while she road tripped home hitting up all the places on my bucket list. But mostly, I'm just mega jealous that she went to Utah.

People. Juneau was almost a nightmare. My friend Margaret came with me and Monday we spent the day downtown and just relaxing. It truly was a great day. Then Tuesday, we hiked one of the mountains in the rain. Did both of our phones get water damage? Absolutely. Mine at least kind of works, but Margaret's was toast. Then Wednesday, we were driving in the rain, and the windshield wiper of my friend's truck that we were using for the week just snapped off on the driver's side. In the rain. Thursday after my camera broke, we went on a bike ride and got milk shakes. We also drove out to the Shrine of St. Therese which as always, is absolutely stunning. Then Friday we hiked East Glacier, frolfed, saw a bear, and went camping. Then Saturday we spent all day downtown again. And Sunday we just chilled and said goodbye to people. Monday was our flight home. My phone was stolen on the last lag of our trip. But then Tamara and Gary pulled a Liam Neeson and hunted down the dude that stole it. So good news: I do have my phone! Everything hit me on my flight back to Minneapolis and I spent a lot of time crying throughout the day on my flights. I feel good about it though. However, despite all of these things that happened, I still know that I want to move there when(ever) I graduate because I truly feel like myself when I'm there. I'm one with the nature. And I love the rain. It can't stop me.

On this two week trip, I resolved a lot of things and feel good about them (mostly). I had the soul searching that I didn't get when we went to South Dakota. I'm glad to have been able to have the bonding time with mom and I'm so happy that Margaret was able to join me in Juneau to meet my friends, eat her fair share of gluten-free waffles, and experience everything I've been talking about since I first got back in May. Hopefully I can return there soon. Or just go to Utah.

Love and hugs!
- A

Some Thoughts

One week ago my toenail fell off due to rollerblading. Not having a toenail is actually kind of freeing. I could get used to it. The breeze, especially. Too weird? It's too sensitive to rollerblade though. So pretty much, with each day I am losing any and all gains I have made this summer which makes me panic because what if I can't do my inline skate marathon? #panic I was up to 18 miles working towards twenty while doing like 50+ a week. And with all the ice-cream I eat in this weather that I'm sure parallels the temperature of Hell, my caloric intake is too high. For instance, yesterday I had ice-cream for breakfast and lunch. Then at 5 AM, I woke up in a pool of sweat despite the high setting of my fan and lack of clothing. How did I cool myself down? A bowl of ice-cream.

In other uneventful news, my sleep schedule is too weird. Despite my efforts to be in bed by 11 PM, I usually wake up every few hours or so. 3 AM though is the most consistent time. According to Christianity, research, and experience it's the devil's hour. Sometimes I feel like I'm being watched, and other times it's because Eau Claire is just f***ing hot. But according to Chinese medicine, the hours between 3 AM and 5 AM signify lung time, meaning that any hazardous wastes are being coughed up and can also represent any stress or grief you are feeling in life. Like any human, I do have worries and a lot on my mind. I just don't want it to wake me every morning! I need to train myself for those 8 AM classes and 12 hour days in which I have to schedule EVERYTHING: class, eating, studying, to campus tours, other student orgs, work obligations, my social life, and down time for myself. IT'LL BE CRAZY.

I've also had a series of car issues. The pipes surrounding my muffler have corroded, my tire went flat, and the window button panel is janky. I'm sure something else will happen in the following weeks. I blame the miles from South Dakota. But have zero regrets.

There's only a few days of my summer contract left and then it's two weeks of (Braveheart) freedom until my RA contract starts again. What am I doing in that two weeks? ADVENTURING. Mom and I are driving to Seattle and stopping at various national parks along the way. From Seattle, I'm flying back to Juneau for the week for more adventure! It'll be great to be surrounded by the mountainous terrain and constant drizzle, maybe continue my soul searching. My trip with mom will provide a significant amount of bonding time, which will be lovely.  It can't come soon enough.

But until then, I have to finish up work tasks, fix my car, pack up my room, move out of my current room into my new room, pack for my trip, etc. Oh yeah, and still continue my social life. These next few days will be busy!  I feel overwhelmed. But in a good way.

I'll try to post once more before I go off the grid. Until then, stay cool!
-A

Lumberjax

The Lumberjack World Championships were this weekend and I was one of the lucky few to have been able to go. I loved every single millisecond of it. From our drive to going to Copper Falls to overheating in the cabin to waiting like...two hours for a fish fry to a lumberjack pancake breakfast to making new friends to mini golf to the candy shop to ice-cream to getting sunburn to making dollar bets to drinking adult lemonade and beer to playing Jenga to having heart-to-hearts on the porch to getting eaten by a plethora of mosquitos to taking an ice-cold shower to shooting shotguns to WATCHING BADASS LUMBER JACKS AND JILLS. HOLY  MOLY. EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WEEKEND WAS GREAT. That's all. Sorry for the short post. I'm too tired. Hugz!

-A

South Dakota

The majority of summer 2k15 has been spent soul searching #cliché There's a lot I need to figure out in regards to my life. In actuality, what 22 year old knows where they stand in the world? Well, probably a lot of them. I have the privilege of not being one of them resulting in feeling lost. A career seems so foreign, but yet, it's so close. The concept of a god is fairly overwhelming in the midst of such a broken society. The concept of finances is scary. Pretty much, the real world is terrifying but exciting. Thus far I have been fairly comfortable wandering through life and trusting my heart while rolling with the punches. With all of that said, I had the intention of spending this past weekend camping out in the wilderness of South Dakota figuring things out. Do I know what that would have entailed or have meant? Absolutely not. But, Friday night a few hours before I was going to leave for my life quest, a group of friends decided to join me. I am so thankful that they did because it was the weirdest trip ever.

Time of departure from Eau Claire was about 8:30 PM. We alternated driving, listened to some jams, read about the Goat Man, and made the 685 mile drive to Keystone, South Dakota. Also known as the home of four stone(d) presidents: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, and Abraham Lincoln. AKA: Mount Rushmore. We rolled into the park at about 6:30 AM, prior to the park officially being open. As a result, we were able to avoid having to pay for parking or an entry fee #holler I don't know what I thought of Mount Rushmore. It was cool. Maybe beautiful? Too commodified?

We then made the drive down the Needles Highway to Custer State Park. GAH. It was BEAUTIFUL. So much wildlife. I cuddled with a wild donkey. Saw some bison. The nature. All the rocks. The trees. The blue sky. Winding roads filled with switchbacks. Feeling like you were on top of the world, but actually on top of South Dakota.

After exploring that area, we made way to the presidential wax museum. I don't have the correct words to describe my emotions towards that place. A waxed figure of President Reagan, terrifying. Jackie O covered in her husbands blood while Lyndon B. Johnson is being sworn in, tasteless. Teddy Roosevelt sitting in his room surrounded by game, interesting. If you find yourself in that area ever, check it out. It's worth the $10.00

Our next adventure was the Badlands. Another two hour drive. So...we were there. It was like, over one hundred degrees. But also, we weren't there. At least not the designated tourist portion of it. We couldn't find the trails or anything. After sitting in a driveway trying to figure out where the heck we were, we decided to abort the plan. I'm sure you would do so after entering and leaving the Badlands like, five times in a half hour period. The next plan was to drive an hour and a half to our campground. Once the tent was up and everyone settled in, the night was spent at the fire making pudgie pies and eating s'mores. We then all proceeded to pass out from exhaustion.

The 'site was offering a $2.99 all you can eat pancake breakfast. It was heavenly. We then made our way to Wall for the infamous Wall Drug around 9:30 AM. Possibly the weirdest portion of the trip. Within a thirty mile drive, we drove past forty-five signs advertising Wall Drug: Drug is thug, free ice-water, five cent coffee, etc. We got there, went into some really bizarre shops and made our way to the 'pharmacy': giant jack rabbits, stuffed bison, miniature mount-rushmore, free ice-water, a t-rex simulation, more wax figures, a gorilla playing a piano, and more! GO THERE.

THEN on what was supposedly the last lag of our trip in the lovely state of South Dakota, we came across a sign advertising the World's Only Corn Palace. What does that even mean?! So we went. It was...interesting. Corn walls. Corn murals. Corn puns. Corn sculptures in the roads. Corn on the cob.

We made it back to Eau Claire around 11:00 PM Sunday and I'm pretty sure everyone passed out. Lots of bonding was spent in the car. We all lost our sanity at some point. But got closer because of it. I'm going to speak for the crew and say that the weekend away was much needed in the midst of the Eaux Claires music festival preparation, which is this current weekend.

Lots of footage was captured on the GoPro and will be posted at some point. So stay tuned for that in the future. Otherwise, enjoy the (weird) photos below!

-A

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because America

Hello (hot) dogs (get it? hot dogs are patriotic).

America is another year older and to celebrate, I made the 3.5 hour trek all the way back to the good ol' G (thank goodness for the speed limit increase #70mph). The weekend was filled with humidity and 82+ degree weather. But did that stop me from partaking in celebration? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Friday night Dad, Uncle Jim, Sara and I had a 10:00 PM tee time at the Whitnall Park Golf course. You might be thinking, who the heck plays golf in the middle of the night? Well, surely not us. We play croquet. Tiki torches light the fringe of the green and wickets are everywhere. The sprinklers were on, which resulted in us having to change course (no pun intended) and head to a different hole. A hole that was just one giant mega hill, so croqueting was a bit challenging. Ok, SUPER challenging. It took us almost two hours to play one game when last time (the time the police caught us), it took dad and I that long to play three games on the green. It was still fun though. Oh, and I ended up winning, even though I was losing pretty much the whole time.

Saturday I had a good 'blade while mom ran behind me on the New Berlin trail. Afterwards, I went to go lay in the grass and stretch, but as I was going down, I managed to lose my balance. One leg went over my head, my arms flung up, and my Camelback fanny pack went airborne. Oh, and a group of people saw me and stared. I thought I sprained my ankle and I heard a crack. But I think I'm okay... It was only a little embarrassing. Naturally, I played it cool and acted like I did it purposely. We then headed over to the Doughty's for a very (un)american meal: Greek and Indian chicken, gyros, hummus, German chocolate cake, sangria, etc. It was a cultural meal and representative of America's image as a melting pot. And yo, the food was delish. I'd do it all again. Especially the sangria. The company was also lovely! Later that night, Step-on-me, A-a-ron, Sara, and I went to the Greendale fireworks then ate ice-cream from Kopps then went to bed. I woke up to a pissed off bird squawking in my ear; that was nice. Today I just ran errands, went rollerblading, had some brunch with the fam, and headed back to EC. I probably lost my voice from jamming to Taylor Swift, Adele, and Farewell Milwaukee the entire way. Strange mix of music. But all good, especially Farewell Milwaukee. They're my all time favorite band, so I may be bias.

ANYWAYS, I hope that y'all had a good fourth and stayed cool.

- A

dad using google earth and a whisk to map things out