a letter to 2016

dear 2016,

you have provided nothing but a whirlwind of emotions. at times i find myself resenting you because of all the shit storms. and then i get salty for giving you as many tears as i have. but often, i don't want you to end because holy nuts--you were a year full of marvelous life!

the reality of it all, 2016? you know how to play a girl's heart.

you were a year where darkness could easily have had a foothold. you took away precious life from three people i love all too soon, and all within a few months of one another. my heart broke on multiple occasions. my camera is barely functioning. i almost walked away from the Lord. i got a black eye and several other wounds from my "extreme" sports. i made some poor choices as a result of drinking. i broke trust in relationships causing irrevocable damage. my car got rear ended. i ate moldy bread unknowingly. i pooped my pants at the store. i fall into sin's lifeless arms every day. i experienced spiritual warfare on a new level. i moved away from some of my best friends and some of my best friends moved away from me. i was a slave to guilt. i was pulled over three times in two weeks--two of which truly were a result of burnt out tail lights. i have been unforgiving. my bank account is nearly empty. i have cried a lot.

BUT, ef all of that.

there is SO much good that has happened. good that can only result from our Creator. i was able to spend three weeks in nicaragua. three weeks that opened my eyes to a culture rich in beauty and love. i stepped foot into the adult realm. rather than walking away from Christ in the dark moments, i only grew in my relationship with Him as i pressed further and further into His heart. i am loved by the Beloved. i am somehow coleading a girls' Bible study--ugh, what? (definitely don't feel qualified for that). walls were broken down as i relearned how to trust and genuinely love. i got to see my favorite band perform. i drove across the country, took a ferry, and relocated my life to juneau. i spent hours rollerblading throughout juneau--sometimes by myself and other times with a fellow blader babe or running fiend. i've shared my heart with close friends over a donut as we stare at the stars. i regained confidence in my identity. i got to see one of my best friend's marry the man of her dreams. i learned what it means to forgive and be forgiven. i perfected my popcorn recipe. i played croquet on the golf course at midnight with tiki torches. i shared an ice-cream cone with one of the most majestic creatures (a cow). a plethora of people i love got to see a piece of my heart as they visited juneau. i learned to appreciate the dysfunctionality of my family. i played softball all summer. i got stuck on a mountain in total darkness. my cardio health improved with each huff and puff up juneau's mountains. my photography is hanging up at gonzo. for once, i know what i want to do in life because i know it's where He is leading me and i trust Him completely.


thank you for your time, 2016. through each of your moments, there has always been Light. what is 365 days in comparison to an eternity praising God? i want each of my days to reflect His infinite beauty.

"but do not forget this one thing, dear friends: with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. the Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." 2 peter 3:8-9

happy new year!

xoxo
-a