recluse

His grace covers my insecurities.

His grace covers my fears.

His grace covers my hurt.

His grace covers my what ifs. 

in my own life, i know that my insecurities, fears, hurt, and futuristic thinking that leads to the what ifs prevent me from fully utilizing what God has gifted me with (which i am still trying to understand). and being able to love without condition and a heart for adventure.

i am unchained from my past and because of my relationship with Christ, i should be unafraid of my future. i should be unafraid. but i am afraid. i am afraid to follow Him in obedience as a result of my trivial fears. i was designed for adventure because He knew that following Him would be one (Wild and Free, p. 15). i am are free to do whatever He calls me to do as i am wild in obedience. i should walk in who God created me to be and find freedom in what Jesus has done for me. 

i know that God will show up just as i think i am about to sink because He is so generous in the ways in which He helps. i need to take venture in my faith and do so boldly. that entails taking risks as i engage in my calling. He gifted me so that He may be glorified throughout my life. 

my insecurities, fears, hurt, and what ifs are simply results of the enemy's work. they are tactics that are used to prevent me from stepping out in faith to follow His calling. they encourage me to be recluse. 

if i take a step back and reflect on the ways in which i am #blessed, i know that Christ has been there every step of the way. the Lord is my cornerstone. so, i need to follow what He has put on my heart: showing Love in the world through venture while not letting the world turn me away from Him. 

God is so good. this was especially evident this weekend as a group of about thirty of us retreated out to echo ranch--a camp about thirty miles out the road away from technology and our realities. seeing the Holy Spirit work in and through the hearts of so many, was absolutely incredible. new relationships were built between brothers and sisters as we played games, star gazed, huddled around the wood-fire stove, and partook in pillow talk. during quiet time, i was convicted of so many things (and maybe cried a bit) as i sat on the beach in the sun gazing at the mountains and listening to the ocean.

i needed a weekend like this because i have been relatively recluse as a result of my fears.

"there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." - 1 John 4:18

with Christ alongside me, i have nothing to be afraid of for He will provide. He always has. I am loved by Him and only He can mend my hurting heart, silence my insecurities, cast out my fears, and eliminate my what-ifs. this is because He is perfect. He is love.

i've said it before, but i need to love without reserve. and i don't because i am afraid of being hurt. but how many times have i broken His heart? millions. and yet, He continues to love me and show me grace.

it makes my heart so happy to know that Jesus is my savior. He can break my chains. i want to continue to live a life of adventure, which following Him entails.

yo. God is so good. 

xoxo

-A