black eye

remember when...

• ...someone got stuck to my backpack coming out of the elevator and i didn't know?
• ...i tripped on my way to class and as i was getting back up, i fell again?
• ...i fell on my rollerblades in the middle of campus?
• ...i almost died ice-climbing?
• ...i fell off my horse in chile?
• ...i fell off my lofted bed?
• ...i slipped under the guard rail over an edge while hiking?
• ...i forgot to put a coffee cup under my keurig and it got all over my desk?
• ...i peed on stage?
• ...got stitches in third grade from swinging on the counter?
• ...i tripped going up the stairs of hibbard hall?

the list is endless (in theory). essentially, all of these memories reinforce the lack of grace in my life. well, friends. i can now add that i have a black eye. i would love to say that i got into a fight with someone for a cause i believe in. i would love to say that it happened when i was saving a llama from a wildabeast. i would love to say that it happened as i was summiting a mountain. but no. of course it would be none of those things. instead, i got it from face planting on my rollerblades. one of the only things i trust completely in my life. and they let me down.

immediately after the fall. 

the past few weeks weather has been gorgeous, prime for rollerblading. so last night, before youth group, i thought: you know, it drizzled a little bit today but YOLO. i'm still going to rollerblade. i've skated in wisconsin in the dark and in the rain, so i should be able to do it here. i grabbed my headlamp, camel-back fanny pack for hydration, and my phone to track my route. i was either going to go to the glacier and back or just skate to youth group (distance would be the same). i'm ten feet from my driveway and my wheels are a little stuck (probably rusty from the water from my previous endeavor). i come across a pothole (unknowingly) but manage to conquer it. but as i was carefully avoiding pothole number one, a second one came out of nowhere. my upper body went forward while my lower body stayed put as my wheel was caught on the chunk of pavement. in no time, i was face to face with the ground. 

a sharp pain shot through my face, my hip, my chest, and my wrists. i thought i was going to meet my maker. which wouldn't be bad, because i love jesus. BUT i wasn't ready. too much life to live, too much world to conquer, and so much uneaten candy corn. i was able to get up and i feebly skated to my apartment, not sure how i felt emotionally. i felt nothing. so, i grabbed a girl scout cookie, drank some water, checked out my wounds, washed the dirt out, and started laughing. of fucking course this would happen to me. 

i rolled into youth group (via my car) with a black eye, swollen face, and a scabby cheek. of course all were accompanied by a smile. why let a pot hole ruin a wonderful day? as the kids say these days, YOLO.  

a night of rest, a shower, and no make-up

but listen up. that YOLO mentality did not last past 7:00 AM today. i felt so defeated. my body ached. i look(ed) like a chump. i was tired. coffee didn't seem to work. it was rainy. i've cried for no reason. 

other weird things seemed to happen this week as well. things that further exemplified that i was off. not on my 'a' game. i'm almost certain it's because i haven't spent a lot of time with God. i didn't go to b-stud either of the two nights i usually do. i missed church on sunday because i was in mpls. i haven't opened my Bible in a few days. i'm not complete without Him and without His word. that Fella IS love. He is all that matters. ALL that matters.

i need to continue to fall into His grace more and more. otherwise i will continue to face plant into harmful things and injure my spirit. which is exactly what He Who Must Not Be Named wants. i'm not going to let that chump get me down. this was a physical friendly reminder to bring Him back into my life. 

peace. love. and band-aids. 

-A

minneapolis

hello, hello, hello!

i am coming off a high from a wonderful weekend filled with so many happy things. because of the decline in price of plane tickets with delta, i decided to take a casual weekend trip to minnesota. i chose a weekend that happened to coincide with UAS' spring break, my 23rd birthday, and a concert from my favorite band (farewell milwaukee if you have not caught onto that yet).

i left juneau thursday morning around 8:00 AM and arrived to MPLS around 6:30 PM. i thought it would start as a rough day because i dropped my toothbrush in the toilet that morning. but it turned out alright. gary and tamara met me at the airport and from there, we grabbed some grub then headed over to the informal inn that uncle mike and aunt teresa run in minnetonka (aka their house). truly a wonderful night. to make the weekend even better, i started friday morning with the best fucking donut: leprechaun bite. it was minty with brownie pieces on top and paired with coffee. oh my gosh, my taste buds.

and somehow, the weekend managed to get better and better. i spent most of friday with the parentals, then went to a killer concert friday night with abby and cody where i happened to meet the lead singer and take a photo with him and talk to him and shake his hand. i'm pretty much that one fan girl who obsesses too much. but you know, i regret nothing. it was worth it. did i buy a $5 tshirt? yes. did i pay for an overpriced beer? yes. did i explode on the inside when they started performing? absofuckinglutely.

saturday morning i had yet another incredible donut, met up with my friends john and margaret and explored the city with them (each at different times). it entailed hipster coffee shops, olive garden, the walker art center, some good pizza, and fantastic company.



and my short weekend came to an end too quickly. i was back on the plane for juneau. however, i realized (again) just how much i dislike flying. it's not the flight itself, but it's the people. maybe i'm too cynical or maybe i'm practical? for one, think of all the germs. or even worse, all the MRSA. YUCK. then, you have people who expect flight attendants to dote on them hand and foot. then there's the people who don't know how to go through security or board a plane. like, come on people, common sense!

but with a cup of coffee and an overpriced airport donut at the MSP airport, my fiery anger was extinguished and all was well. i read a few books, jammed to some music, and people watched. also, shout out to my sister for buying me TWO boxes of girl scout cookies (caramel delights). it was SO wonderful to spend time with a handful of people that i love. so happy, so blissful, so perfect. i got back to juneau around 8 pm and grabbed a beer (or two) with another friend. WHAT A WEEKEND.

happy heart

hello friend.

it's been a while. i want you to know that i am safe, happy, and thriving in juneau. i feel like i have been back for months, while in reality, it has been a singular month. each day, my heart races with joy like american pharoah as he raced to win the american triple crown (yes, i watch horse races on occassion). 

i start off my day questioning my reality: am i really here? as soon as i step outside into the rain and take a look at the mountains that surround me, i am reaffirmed. i am here. this is my home. this is the start of something new.  

lately, i've been faced with a feeling that i have not had to face in years: homesickness. the girl who lives for adventure and the yolo moments, is missing her mitten shaped state and everything it stands for. i have theories as to where this foreign feeling stemmed from: knowing my time in juneau, could very well be indefinite depending on what doors my short one year contract opens, whether that be with the university or an obscure company. like, woah. i could be here FOREVER. truly, it's a wonderful concept. and an overwhelming one to fully comprehend and grasp. my career as an adult is starting.

when my thoughts wander in this direction of "forever" i do my best to put up the barricades: i'm only (almost) twenty three and if God allows it, i still have a lot of life to live. for all i know, i could be running a doughnut shop in five years. i could be in south america. heck, i could be in africa or north dakota. 

i threw shotput and discus in high school track, but somehow, i have managed to successfully hurdle over life's hurdles. and i know that's because of God. i'm going to go where he wants me to be and not where i want to be. i need to live in a way that reflects my love for Jesus. a life full of love. a life in which i relinquish all control. a life with a happy heart. 

one day i was driving home from work. i was sitting at a stop sign with farewell milwaukee's ben lubeck filling my car. i'm staring a mountain right in the eyeballs. everything hit me in that moment: "dude. allie. what the fuck are you doing here?".  weeks later, i still don't know. i have absolutely no idea how i even got here. yeah, i'm here for work (which i am loving by the way). but i truly believe my being in juneau has a greater purpose. yo, it is a magical place. a place that challenges me and encourages me. one in which i am growing in my faith immensely and one in which my spirit is growing. and i don't need to know. all i know is that it's where God wants me to be right now and i am so lucky. 

other than the fact that i miss putter's annoying yelp, stephanie's constant desire to pester me, going to grandma's to catch up and drink her wine, endless games of cribbage with dad, netflix movies with mom, cuddles with mulligan, (illegally) playing croquet on the golf course, long conversations and comfortable silences with some of my best friends, and an endless supply of cheese curds i really have nothing to be homesick about. 

with each hike, i wait for mr. tumnus to walk out of the woods and offer me a cup of tea. with each moment i spend under the stars, i realize just how insignificant i really am but at the same time, how loved i am by Him. with each waffle i eat, my taste buds cheer. with each smile i give, the gloomy soggy days seem more sunny. with each hour, second, and minute i spend with friends, i am validated in both my worth and their worth. with each day of work, i reflect on how blessed i am to have a job right out of college (a job that can slowly help me pay off my mounds of student debt). my life is really good. my heart is really happy. 

i really don't have a lot to complain about. except the high gas prices in comparison to the lower 48. it could be worse. i've been able to rollerblade since i've been back, hike and explore, grow in my faith, and hug everyone i love! i'm excited for summer and all it entails: several visitors, playing softball, camping, frolfing, kayaking, hiking, laying beneath the stars, campfires, etc. 

sending love and happiness and hugs your way! 

xoxo

-A 

pre road trip w/ gar bear. 

a girl and her car and all her shit. 

this crazy best friend of mine whom i miss dearly.

titanic ferry ride

house warming gift to myself. 

hello. it's me, the mendenhall glacier. 

woah. 

celebrating valentine's day by (water) falling in love with the life He has given me. 

rollerblading with some horses. 

make sure your sound is on. i regret nothing. 

one of many hikes. 

a casual flight to hoonah.

another beautiful hike. 

you know nothing, jon snow. 

rollerblade adventure. 

rollerblade adventure.